Wednesday, February 17, 2010

today, I discovered my new favourite food.

Squid in tempura batter with salt and garlic mayo. I need more now please!

Feeling a bit better mood wise :)
I got my hair cut on Monday (you cant really notice but i like having non-scraggy ends, it's not been cut for about a year), I'm taking my two little cousins to see The Princess and the Frog tomorrow, and I just found out I'm going to London to see the Lion King in just under three weeks (!!)
I am actually SO excited. We have to go at a weekend because of my Mum's work schedule and my brother and sister needing to be at school, so we probably won't have time to fit in all my London List things to do, but we will be going to the afternoon showing of The Lion King on the Sautrday, then the plan was to possibly go to one of the 'celebrity chef's' restaurants but the ones I fancied were either only open for lunch or have HUGE price tags for dinner. It would be alright to splash out a bit except for the fact that there will be five of us, and will have already spent out on flights, hotel and show tickets! New plan is to go to the Hard Rock cafe, another thing on my List. Which I'm happier with because it means less posh food and feeling more comfy I reckon. Oooh, does anyone have an opinion on which to go to, apparently there's more than one in London (according to my limited research involving Google Earth!)?
Eeek and then on the Sunday hopefully get a bit of shopping in, a trip to Camden I'm hoping, before flights home. Yay!

Hmm so today I took Mum for lunch which was fun. And I ended up eating most of her starter - that amazing squid - oops! Sorry Mum. We had a bit of a chat about what I should do about my Starlight wish. I was offered one a few years ago and never wrote back, at the time I felt like I was too well to take one, but about 6 months ago we found the letters and Mum persuaded me to reply. I wished to go and see animals like elephants and lions in the wild - "dream big" was my thinking! Mum finally got a call back last week and having spoken to my doctors they thought that it would probably be too much for me to cope with now that I've had such a deterioration since last summer, the long trip plus the heat plus the physical exertion etc, but they still want to give me a wish, so I gotta choose again! And I'm thinking I'm going to give Martine a call tomorrow and tell her about my List, and see if she thinks we could get a few things ticked off. More excitement :)

Hmmm. I'm sure anyone reading this is getting bored now, but once I've started it feels good to get all my thoughts out, so on to the not so good...
Getting a bit worried about my chest. Well, I was "getting a bit worried" about 4 days after I last got out of hospital two weeks ago, but I'm coughing more, getting more scummier gunk up...the usual but so much quicker than the usual. What is really nagging me is the fact that I'm getting random breathless episodes several times a day, just sitting at the computer or watching tv and stuff, and my heart rate goes up to about 120, and it just wears me out completely!
I so much don't want to be back on IVs already, feel like I haven't had time to do anything yet, don't want to be a useless vegetable for two weeks again already thank you very much! My azithromycin doesnt seem to be holding me up at all any more and other orals never help :/
Don't know whether to call up the Unit and see what they think, or to leave it a while longer. Is it better to wait until I'm awful, and hopefully manage to fit in a little bit of a life in the next week or so, or catch it early and feel like crap about not doing anything while I had the chance?
hmmm. Dilemma.

I wish I could sleep. I think I'd feel a million times better if I could sleep.
But surprise surprise, coughing and pain keeps me awake. So I cough more the next day.

Hope everyone (anyone?) is well :)

Sunday, February 14, 2010

I don't know if I can even do this blog thing. I have so much in my head right now that I can't even get it out to write down...
I'll try again tomorrow. Think I'm just feeling sorry for myself the last few days. This isn't a good start to a blog! But honestly I can't be bothered with the introduction crap. I just want to vent and have people maybe read and actually understand.
I really need a good cry. And I haven't got anyone to cry to :

Ha, yep, feeling sorry for myself. Sorry.

Monday, February 8, 2010

"Loz has entered the blog-o-sphere."

Thought I'd steal that quote from Megan as my first post's title, I rather think it sums up the occasion quite nicely :)
Ok, well, I had this problem last time I (attempted to) start a blog... What I'm wondering is where do I start? Should I have a go at introducing myself, explain why I want to do this, or just jump in?
Not that I think many people will be reading this- it's mainly for me. But just in case, I'll do a little spiel of introduction so no-one who stumbles across this blog feels like they've opened a book in the middle or something.

Slightly awkward photo taken at a slightly awkward party - somehow seemed the best I could choose.

Here goes... Hi. I'm Lauren. A few facts: I'm a girl. I live on Jersey, the Channel Island (it's not a palm trees and perma-sunny paradise, but it can get pretty damn close sometimes), I turned 18 in December of 2009, I have Cystic Fibrosis - along with a host of other medical complaints and complications! I'm short, I'm pessimistic, I still have a teddy bear on my bed, I love people almost as much as I like to be alone, and I love books.
To be continued...