Winning Streak?!

Well, first of all, this blog is a day late as internet was temperamental yesterday! I just wanted to mention my dad first. We have definitely had our ups and downs in life, but as i grow older he has become a unique figure in my life who supports and encourages me in everything that matters, and knows exactly how to be with me. I love that we can sit and do our own things buit still be together. I love you dad.
Also, my old and loyal friend India (sometimes referred to on here as Indie or Beau) - I always have an angel out there watching out for you, and especially on this day, I hope you know that, or at least remember it from now on. Love you, gorgeous xx

Onto this winning streak business!
Something so lovely happened yesterday :)
My dad flew over from Jersey to Southampton to keep me company in the hospital again for a few days. Because I had come over unexpectedly on the air-ambulance I had literally only a carrier bag of things with me that Paul (mother hen's other half, who is also very special and good to me by the way, <3...) had hurriedly thrown together, so Dad put together a little suitcase with some clean pjs and pants etc, so I can at least feel clean-ish and a little more human! He also brought post. eeep, yay! The first package to be opened was the one that Laura sent with the Lonelies beads I won. I knew what was in there but I was honestly so excited to open it, and I was not at all disappointed! The beads are all beautiful and perfect. They are a lot smaller (think, half the size) than i have always imagined her beads to be but that just added to the amazement at how delicate and detailed they are. Once again, thank you so much! And I will definitely be forwarding the love onward with a giveaway of something I make using some of the beads, though as I said previously, it may be a little while.

A second, MYSTERIOUS package was also there. With a sticker on the back showing the logo for the site Ollie and Nic. This was very curious indeed as though I have lusted over certain items on this site of cute-nosity, I have not yet placed an order. However, on opening the packet, all was revealed and became clear! A gorgeous handwritten notecard inside informed me that they liked my answer to a competition (i entered around 6 weeks ago to win a huge haul of makeup, mostly Benefit brand which i love) so much that I had been chosen as one of 8 runners-up! I had had to finish a sentence, and actually have a copy of the confirmation email so I can tell you all that my answer went: ONE BIT OF MAKE UP I CAN'T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IS..."a really rich, smudgy eyeliner! Blacker than black in colour. You can create simple looks by just defining your eyes, making you look put together, or go sexy and sultry with dramatic smoky eyes. Plus if youre really stuck for a laugh it can also be used to create several styles of fake moustache to great effect! ;)"
So I'm guessing my strange brand of humour worked to my advantage here! Like I said, I didn't actually win the £170 worth of Benefit goodies, but the little leather keyring they sent was really lovely, and the fact that it was a surprise, they hadnt emailed to let me know or anything, really gave me something to smile about. I was so genuinely happy. And I just CAN NOT believe that after two years of entering every competition I see I have suddenly won two prizes in two weeks! I can't keep myself from exclaiming this out loud, I think father is getting rather bored of the same old tune, but I cant help it! I am like an excited child :)
So thanks also to the Ollie & Nic company!
*Photos to come when I get home to my precious camera. Yay!*
Question: Is it greedy to keep entering competitions when I see them now that I have won two prizes??

Health-wise, yet again I have more grumbles, it seems that every time I squint and manage to see getting HOME in the distance, whatever is out there realises and throws some other obstacle at me. I'm doing my best to keep climbing over them, but in all honestly, I don't want to be having to fight for every little thing for much longer! Yes yes, it's all about the climb, life's hard, etc etc... it just seems that most people squeeze in a break every now and then where they get to have things go smoothly, at least a little?! Don't get me wrong, I don't expect health and happiness to be handed to me on a plate: first off, I'm not that naive! But... it would just be nice if the pressure could lift, just slightly, just for a little while. For now I'll keep plodding on though I s'pose! :)
Technical-ish-ly, things seem to have in fact worsened rather than seeing improvements with my chest after the bronchoscopy on Friday - the temperature spikes continued but the doctors were not too surprised by that, seeing as they had probably stirred up all kinds of garbage in there. However once those had died down, they are more surprised to see that my sats are dropping ever lower, currently sitting around 82-84% when resting, and worse when expending energy or sleeping... and anyone who knows about me sats-wise will know that even when Im really poorly there have only been 2 or maybe 3 occasions where my sats dropped below 96-99%, and that was quickly rectified by 2 or 3 days of IVs tops. I'm now on day 13 (I think) of IVs and they are showing no signs of taking me off them any time soon. This morning I was started on a bunch of extra nebs, including one which I think is salbutamol which makes me trembly for hours, I hate it because I feel weakened, but if it's going to help by opening my airways then I have accepted taking it short term, they have also put me onto steroids. I'm not sure if it's that I'm tired but I can't even think how they help right now, can any of my CF friends advise on that? Ta.
I'm still a while from getting home I think, so mendy vibes would be appreciated please!-- as long as you cant think of anyone who needs them more urgently of course :)

I am however going crazy just sitting here on my oxygen and reading magazines alllll day, keeping fingers crossed that I might be allowed out very quickly tomorrow, and if I am then I am getting a taxi to HobbyCraft! I have never been to one but I am imagning it as seriously amazing, and the plan is to stock up on as big a variety of crafty bits as I can before dad leaves (tomorrow evening i think) to keep me busy afterwards. Oooh, does anyone know Southampton well enough to suggest any other good crafty places? Thanksss youuu

I'll end my babble here. Darnnn, it went past midnight, that makes me two days late! awwhh welll.

Much love xx


because i don't like to go too long without a photo. and because it's a damn cute kitty. and because i actually laugh at these moustache tatts :)

Cute.

Well, actually, before the cuteness, I must just mention the event that our little blogging world has been squealing over - Tori finally got her lung transplant! And yes I know it's late, and everyone else has already said it, my only excuse is the unbelievably unreliable internet connection in the hospital. I am just so so happy for her, and can not believe what amazing progress she is making already. I think she was off the ventilator after just two days, and out of the intensive care unit by day 4? Even if that isnt exactly right, it was very fast. Proud of you Victoria lovely :) Just keep on getting better so you can start making the most of those shiny new puffers!
Also just a thought for the donor and their family, and a thankyou to them for saving our friend's life.


A new follower of my blog, Mizz Ali, recently did a post of her own including awards, and awarded me TWO of them! Which is so lovely. Now I have never really come across these awards before but I will pass them on anyway and it is up to you if you want to pass them along after that.

First of the, the You're a Star award: apparently you have to say seven things about yourself. So...
1) I daydream about travelling every single day.
2) My mouth waters whenever I think of these huge prawns that you could get from M&S at Christmas, Even though they cost like £12 a packet i wish i could treat myself to one every now and then!
3) When my room is messy and unorganised I feel sick and so stressed that I can't sleep.
4) I LOVE LOVE LOVE sending letters, I have lots of penpals as well as writing to my real-life friends sometimes! I also LOOOVE giving gifts, and seeing people's faces when you've chosen the right one.
5) I think pugs are so ugly that they're cute.
6) I still sleep cuddling a teddy bear, I got it about 10 years ago.
7) A very bad habit of mine is starting new projects and not finishing them!!

Ok, well I award this blog to: . . . hmm, let me think.
Well I don't know, so I award it to all of you! So then I won't feel like I'm asking someone to do it lol. Plus, you're all stars, obviously! :D
The other award won't upload unfortunately, and it was really pretty too!



Other cuteness: In paperchase the other day, I bought stickers, postcards and a letter set in their new design, Day Trippers. Its so blimmin lovely:




In other news, I'm probably flying home tomorrow. So happy to be getting out of here, have to admit though, very disappointed in how little I seem to have improved, but the doctors are basically saying now that they don't know what else to do for me. I think they are trying to say that I just need to accept that I am getting worse, and I am going to stay that little bit lower each time I have a blip. Just need to work at it and try not to dwell on it I suppose. And get a move on with living a real life!!

Lots of love to you all out there.
xx

Some Pictures and Things...

So... things still aren't great.
But I've been very busy this week! Unfortunately not very social, still a hermit!
But Ive been to the dentist - and dear me was it horrific! I was meant to be getting the toothypegs whitened! As they are something I am really concious of like my bloated belly. But I ended up have instead: FIFTEEN (15!!) injections in my poor gummies!! 4 fillings and 5 enamel replacements! Damn you fruit addiction, you wreak havoc on my enamel :(
But at least that's all sorted now.
After the dentist - and a good hour of walking around town, covering my mouth if i had to speak to anyone since i noticed i looked like i had super-gravity on my face - it was time for the hairdressers and I went to a different place than normal as they had an offer of free colour with any cut and blowdry, obviously with a junior but it still went pretty well! I have gone a few shades darker, not quite to the black i used to have but a dark brown... The only thing was the girl was really messy and my hairline and ears are very stained! :( And also, I'm pretty sure once it fades (i only got a semi-permanent tint this time) its going to be red-ish which i asked the, to make sure it wouldnt, but it does seem to have red tones in.
Oh, and about 5 minutes into the appointment the girl asked me how old i was, and literally spent the entire time after that exclaiming "Thats crazy! you look about 13, 14 at most! I dont believe you! You are NOT 18! you know i would still colour your hair if you were under 18, you dont have to lie!" etcetc... I was imagining giving her a good smack! I dont mind a quick word of surprise but this was literally a constant hour and a half of saying i looked like I was in year 8 or 9, I got so pissed off. And the thing was she was only 19 herself, surely she would have realised that I probably wouldnt be comfortable with it? In the end i said a few times "ohh, yeah, i hate it, people always go on about it..." quite pointedly, but she still didnt get the hint. Grr!

So here is the new look... Plus my i <3 zombies tshirt :D love it




And... next change...



Ouch! I *hope* this kinda suits me. But it's what i wanted, well actually I wanted my lip done and have since I was 13 (stupidly did it myself at 15 only to have mother force it out a day later), but my teeth are such a mess already i dont want to risk them being damaged at all more! So my little (well, quite big lol) blue sparkly is now settling into my nose. It freakin hurt for an hour afterwards but now i cant feel a thing!! :D though the hook inside is HEE-UGE and so noticeable from the slightest angle! But 6-8 weeks and i can get something a little more discreet :)


Oh, and a picture or two from the last week or two. Enjoy XX


^ My new owl doorstop :D i love owls! Isn't he cute? He needs a name though. Suggestions on a postcard please...



a genuine Jersey cow <3