Tuesday, August 3, 2010

"a period of several weeks to months"...

...are words which have been thrown around. Not thrown around i suppose, as that implies casuality and lightness, when actually it was in a really serious and hard conversation with one of the doctors. Basically I was asking how long I could have left to live, for want of a softer way to put that. That wasn't the straight answer, thank goodness. But when asked what Could happen, what Could be the worst case scenario, she wasn't exactly hesitant to warn us that they might not win against this new battle of the bugs, which has really scared me. And if they find they aren't winning, all they would be able to do is send me home with IVs, make me comfortable etc, and wait for "a period of several weeks to months" for it to take over my body entirely.
That's quite a shocking thing to hear at 18 years old when the same morning you've been talking to that same doctor about how desperate you are to get home and bake cupcakes, and she is agreeing with you about how definitely that needs to happen.
Jordanna this is what I wanted to talk about on the phone but the parents came back in the room and somehow I just couldn't talk properly with them there. I don't know if I would have been able to anyway though to be honest! :) i love you.


  1. Hang in there Lauren! We're all thinking of you and willing for things to get better for you! Massive hugs and lots of love! xxx

  2. good god Lauren, what a hard thing to have to hear! keep fighting, we all want you to get better and enjoy baking cupcakes for many years to come *huggles*

    love to you wee chicky, hope they have some better news for you soon xxxx

  3. seriously? This is how they have spoken to you? That doesnt sound right to me, it sounds for a start like they are trying this and then thats it which is not good enough. Secondly, if they seriously were having an end of life conversation with you then thats the most shit technique i've ever heard of.
    Its not acceptable Lauren, they shouldn't treat you with such insensitivity!

  4. Thinking of you so much! I saw something the other day and got it for you, it's just something small but I immediatley thought 'ah, Lauren might like that!' I'll get off my arse and post it asap! Loves Xxx

  5. Oh lovely the doctors are to put it nicely bastards!!! They can't predict how this unpredictable disease is going to pan out!! Your taking all the right steps, you're getting your peg today!! That extra weight that it's going to give you will help fight these new bugs!! You're strong and your going to prove the docs wrong!! Stay strong and keep fighting the battle I'm behind you 100% xx

  6. Stay strong, sorry you had this news but like everyone has said, prove them wrong!!!