Monday, June 21, 2010

Winning Streak?!

Well, first of all, this blog is a day late as internet was temperamental yesterday! I just wanted to mention my dad first. We have definitely had our ups and downs in life, but as i grow older he has become a unique figure in my life who supports and encourages me in everything that matters, and knows exactly how to be with me. I love that we can sit and do our own things buit still be together. I love you dad.
Also, my old and loyal friend India (sometimes referred to on here as Indie or Beau) - I always have an angel out there watching out for you, and especially on this day, I hope you know that, or at least remember it from now on. Love you, gorgeous xx

Onto this winning streak business!
Something so lovely happened yesterday :)
My dad flew over from Jersey to Southampton to keep me company in the hospital again for a few days. Because I had come over unexpectedly on the air-ambulance I had literally only a carrier bag of things with me that Paul (mother hen's other half, who is also very special and good to me by the way, <3...) had hurriedly thrown together, so Dad put together a little suitcase with some clean pjs and pants etc, so I can at least feel clean-ish and a little more human! He also brought post. eeep, yay! The first package to be opened was the one that Laura sent with the Lonelies beads I won. I knew what was in there but I was honestly so excited to open it, and I was not at all disappointed! The beads are all beautiful and perfect. They are a lot smaller (think, half the size) than i have always imagined her beads to be but that just added to the amazement at how delicate and detailed they are. Once again, thank you so much! And I will definitely be forwarding the love onward with a giveaway of something I make using some of the beads, though as I said previously, it may be a little while.

A second, MYSTERIOUS package was also there. With a sticker on the back showing the logo for the site Ollie and Nic. This was very curious indeed as though I have lusted over certain items on this site of cute-nosity, I have not yet placed an order. However, on opening the packet, all was revealed and became clear! A gorgeous handwritten notecard inside informed me that they liked my answer to a competition (i entered around 6 weeks ago to win a huge haul of makeup, mostly Benefit brand which i love) so much that I had been chosen as one of 8 runners-up! I had had to finish a sentence, and actually have a copy of the confirmation email so I can tell you all that my answer went: ONE BIT OF MAKE UP I CAN'T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IS..."a really rich, smudgy eyeliner! Blacker than black in colour. You can create simple looks by just defining your eyes, making you look put together, or go sexy and sultry with dramatic smoky eyes. Plus if youre really stuck for a laugh it can also be used to create several styles of fake moustache to great effect! ;)"
So I'm guessing my strange brand of humour worked to my advantage here! Like I said, I didn't actually win the £170 worth of Benefit goodies, but the little leather keyring they sent was really lovely, and the fact that it was a surprise, they hadnt emailed to let me know or anything, really gave me something to smile about. I was so genuinely happy. And I just CAN NOT believe that after two years of entering every competition I see I have suddenly won two prizes in two weeks! I can't keep myself from exclaiming this out loud, I think father is getting rather bored of the same old tune, but I cant help it! I am like an excited child :)
So thanks also to the Ollie & Nic company!
*Photos to come when I get home to my precious camera. Yay!*
Question: Is it greedy to keep entering competitions when I see them now that I have won two prizes??

Health-wise, yet again I have more grumbles, it seems that every time I squint and manage to see getting HOME in the distance, whatever is out there realises and throws some other obstacle at me. I'm doing my best to keep climbing over them, but in all honestly, I don't want to be having to fight for every little thing for much longer! Yes yes, it's all about the climb, life's hard, etc etc... it just seems that most people squeeze in a break every now and then where they get to have things go smoothly, at least a little?! Don't get me wrong, I don't expect health and happiness to be handed to me on a plate: first off, I'm not that naive! But... it would just be nice if the pressure could lift, just slightly, just for a little while. For now I'll keep plodding on though I s'pose! :)
Technical-ish-ly, things seem to have in fact worsened rather than seeing improvements with my chest after the bronchoscopy on Friday - the temperature spikes continued but the doctors were not too surprised by that, seeing as they had probably stirred up all kinds of garbage in there. However once those had died down, they are more surprised to see that my sats are dropping ever lower, currently sitting around 82-84% when resting, and worse when expending energy or sleeping... and anyone who knows about me sats-wise will know that even when Im really poorly there have only been 2 or maybe 3 occasions where my sats dropped below 96-99%, and that was quickly rectified by 2 or 3 days of IVs tops. I'm now on day 13 (I think) of IVs and they are showing no signs of taking me off them any time soon. This morning I was started on a bunch of extra nebs, including one which I think is salbutamol which makes me trembly for hours, I hate it because I feel weakened, but if it's going to help by opening my airways then I have accepted taking it short term, they have also put me onto steroids. I'm not sure if it's that I'm tired but I can't even think how they help right now, can any of my CF friends advise on that? Ta.
I'm still a while from getting home I think, so mendy vibes would be appreciated please!-- as long as you cant think of anyone who needs them more urgently of course :)

I am however going crazy just sitting here on my oxygen and reading magazines alllll day, keeping fingers crossed that I might be allowed out very quickly tomorrow, and if I am then I am getting a taxi to HobbyCraft! I have never been to one but I am imagning it as seriously amazing, and the plan is to stock up on as big a variety of crafty bits as I can before dad leaves (tomorrow evening i think) to keep me busy afterwards. Oooh, does anyone know Southampton well enough to suggest any other good crafty places? Thanksss youuu

I'll end my babble here. Darnnn, it went past midnight, that makes me two days late! awwhh welll.

Much love xx

moustachio-ed kitty!
because i don't like to go too long without a photo. and because it's a damn cute kitty. and because i actually laugh at these moustache tatts :)


  1. Hiya hun, sorry your having such a rough time :( would be great to just have a break sometimes wouldn't it! I hope you get out of there soon. Congrats on winning the competitions!! :D

    I was put on steroids before, not 100% sure why but I know they made me alot less breathless! (I think it's something to do with the airways??..) Maybe someone can inform me too :)

    Lots of love xx

  2. Kerry ta for the comment, its so weird - i was on your facebook page only about 20 minutes ago wondering whether to send you a message - your blogs have been sounding a whole lot like my brain recently, seem to be going through feeling a similar way a lot of the time these last weeks? anyway i wasnt sure what to say so i you must know lol. but thanks. and you know where i am if you ever want to chat ok? :)

  3. YAY!! 2 wins!! Well done! I would definately keep entering competitions! It's not greedy at all!

    Sounds like you're having a really crappy time! Steroids reduces the inflamation in the airways. It can make them less swollen so you're supposed to feel less breathless. It doesn't always work that way though. When I'm on them I'm literally bouncing off the walls.
    Salbutamol nebs! Eugh! I have them too!! I feel so so shakey afterwards and my heart races terribly. I find they do help though especially before a physio sesh as it opens the airways and lets me clear a bit of extra gunk. I really hope you feel better soon lovely! You deserve a break!! Mahoussive Mendy vibes and hugs coming your way!! XXX
    P.S. I love that picture!! Totally got to recreate it with my cat and take a photo... although I'm pretty sure I'd end up being biten...

  4. hey bear

    your first paragraph made me so happy :) :) :) thank you for the angelic love, you're one of the only ones to mention anything and I really appreciate it bear. I'm also really happy to read how well you and the par are getting on together, did you do anything for him yesterday?

    HURRAY!!! competitions!!!! I have only ever won 1 and that was that poetry palaver, which was awesome! (If you want to enter more and more, enter that poem you wrote a while back!! - it was just breath taking/amazingness in a poem) It's not greeedy! eheh

    As for those naughty lungs, I pray that you'll get a break (preferably a long break) from all that trouble (so you can spend more time in my car and in daffodil farms). It sounds unbelievably shit and your low stats make me worried, I hope they recover soon little bear. You'll catch a break when you're least expecting it and it will be glorious! Can't wait to see you. Just sit tight and get a new book haha. xxxxxxx lymttct

  5. congrats on winning the competitions! how awesome, I don't tend to win things either so I can imagine how pleased you are :P especially as things are tough, a nice little surprise always goes down well.

    I hope the steroids and nebs etc kick your lungs into shape, sounds like they're really takin the piss now! *hugs* I also hope you manage to get out and get all your crafty bits and bobs to keep you entertained, it can get so boring, as you'll know better than me!

    PS it's not greedy :P xxx

  6. I was gonna say the same thing that Gem did about the steroids but she beat me to it! They're good shit, I've been on them for a year now to keep inflammation down and they do their job. PLUS they make you uber hungry which means you eat constantly which is always a good thing for us :D

    And me thinks you should take advantage of this winning streak and continue with the comps with gusto! Hope you get your day out too.

    Mucho love and mendy viiiiiiiiibes Xx

  7. yes keep entering the competitions if they make you feel good! Steriods reduce inflammation I think!