After being so happy and upbeat today, a few little things have brought me back down to earth with a jolt. Stupid things: When I was cooking lunch, I wanted to test my blood sugar, leaving th estir-fry going I ran towards the stairs, completely forgetting that actually I can hardly walk up stairs any more. Collapsing on the fourth step was one of those bumps. Another time, I saw a daddy long legs fluttering around the bathroom. Armed with tissue I went to boost myself higher up the wall with one foot on the toilet seat - the foot that was on the floor lifted but the supporting leg didn't do a damn thing. Cue me on the floor, having narrowly missed knocking myself out on the sink. Bump.
But overall, enjoyable day. Very happy to be home. My dad came home relatively early from work and we went for a walk on the beach - admittedly only 10 minutes tops, and my lungs burned for an hour after - but it felt amazing to have the sand between my toes again :)
I've thought of a little project for myself!
Another of the new dvds I watched in hospital was "A Single Man", you know, with Colin Firth? It was different to what I expected, deep, but beautiful. A line caught my attention- One character said something (I haven't got my notebook to hand so you'll have to forgive me that this isn't 100%!) like: "Sometimes awful things can have their own kind of beauty."
It made me think. And after several thought trains, I came to the conclusion that I want to do a little project, and find one thing each day in which to appreciate the beauty. I'll take pictures if I can, and try to do it for a month. I'm excited! When you're not in school, are unemployed and have no hope of being able to do a job, you have to create your own ways of keeping busy ;)
Having said that, another little project I'm working on is becoming a volunteer for my local Samaritans hotline. I think I can empathise with the feelings people who call might be having, and I want to feel like I've made a difference to somebody's life.