Sunday, June 27, 2010 a degree.

Thank you so much to those of you who commented on my last post. Sometimes it's just knowing that people are out there that can stop you from giving up and giving in completely, and you were all lovely. Thank you.

I'm a little calmer today... at least until I let myself think.
Actually, this evening breathing is slightly easier, and I'm so happy about that. I'm still struggling with the thought that I might be stuck fighting to breathe for any be honest when I woke up this morning and realised that I was still here and still having trouble, I had some very dark thoughts indeed.
But the little things, as always, have helped: Dad arrived this morning bearing gifts of Ribena and dvds. I am now the proud owner of a platinum edition Disney DVD of 101 Dalmations :) It's funny, plonk me in front of a Disney selection and 101 Dalmations would have been low on my list to pick, but I've watched it twice this afternoon and really enjoyed it- made me want to get a dalmatian doggy and call her Perdita.
101 dalmations

When I was watching it, the computer went a bit of the many programs that popped up was a webcam program. Now, I hadn't even noticed that this laptop HAD a built-in webcam (observant, yes), or i would have taken a photo a few days ago to give you all a laugh at my hamster chops/moon face! But all the same, I thought I'd give you all a (not-so-)flattering peek into my world.
(the face is still slightly puffy)
My teddy is called Honey, he has been with me since one of my first visits to this hospital. We spotted an army of him in various sizes sitting in Smiths on the way in, and when I came round from my colonoscopy (fun!) he was sitting by my bed. Seven or eight years makes him quite a loyal friend i think, don't you? Especially considering all the tears he's dried! :)

Lastly a (hugely inadequate) thankyou to Victoria and Clare, both of whom I received packages from this week. Tori sent cupcakes and a cute soft toy dog, and Clare sent a box of special-ness that made me smile all day. It was super thoughtful. I'm so proud to call such lovely and generous people my friends. A lot of love to you two! ♥


  1. it's funny, 101 dalmations would be low on my list too, but it's a great film!

    *hugs* sendin you love as always chick xxx

  2. 101 Dalmations. Gosh I love that film.. Especially the part where they're in the snow.. :)
    I hope you feel a little calmer tomorrow.. and the day after that.. and the day after that.. And so on and so forth!

  3. I think you still look lovely. As always.

    Just try to keep smiling, and text me WHENEVER you like. If I don't reply it's because I have no signal, not that I don't care.

    Take care xxx

  4. Gorgeous girly!! I have a card and a little something I need to send to you! It's been sat on my bedside table for the last 10 days (yes I know I'm crap! sorryyyy!!!) 101 dalmations is amazing. When I think of Disney it's not the first to spring to mind but I love it all the same!! Love and hugs!! xxx

  5. Hiya Lauren,

    I've just replied to your messages on my blog and come on to yours, I'm sorry I didn't realise you are in hospital, I'm sorry you are not doing well at the moment. Am i right in thinking you're in Southampton hospital?

    I really hope you are feeling a little better very soon. I know how horrible and scary it is not to be able to breathe and how tiring it is trying. I'm sure the heat is not helping either, hope you have a fan in your room!

    I note ribena has cheered you up- have you tried tropical capri suns? I literally live on them! They are very nice and easy to drink! Just an idea..

    I really wish I could say something more helpful for you but will keep in touch and hope you feel more comfortable very soon xx

  6. Also, I don't know if you are religious at all or even completely not, but I was told something that actually really helps me at difficult times:

    "The Will of God will not take you where the Grace of God will not protect you"

    Thought I would post it just in case you find it comforting xx

  7. aww I love Teddys! I had one called Sally that I got when I was little, but she cant come into bed with me now I have to share it with Pete!

  8. i'm glad you're feeling a little better my bear. I'm really sad reading your latest posts ;( I wish you never had to go through any of those dark thoughts, but i'm glad you're writing (some of) them down on here. The only thing I want to say is that you are an amazing person. What you have gone through is horrible, for anyone, and the fact that you still remain this strong beautiful and caring person is beyond me! I have so much respect for you and I'm very proud to call you my best friend. Lymttct - seriously. xxxxxxxxx