Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Going slightly bonkers?

(well i would be worried but im pretty sure i'm a confirmed nutcase!)


I am really fighting a losing battle here!
The past week or so I have been having the most realistic and lucid dreams - i can tell i'm dreaming, though i cant wake myself up...
A lot of the time when i do wake up I'm bricking it 'cos they can be really scary though!
But the problem is that they are so real it feels like I'm not getting any sleep at all, I'm so tired but I'm scared to go to sleep because I dont want to dream!
I've tried all the usual advice, sleep routines, warm baths, relaxations etc, but does anyone have any suggestion as to how I can sort myself out? I kinda just want another pill to knock me out and make dreams disappear... Oh morphine, how I wish we could be together once more! ;) haha. I know you need the dream sleep to recharge, but it just seems that all my sleep is is one huge long very real and exhausting dream :S

I can tell I'm going downhill quickly the past day or two, I DO NOT want to be back in the freakin hospital again, across an ocean from home with no company etc, but the tiredness and stress and stuff isn't going to help with keeping my head above water so to speak.
I'm pretty sure my sats are low?? : my headache is constant and gets worse pretty much whenever i move, i have absolutely no energy, im heavy and breathless and feel drunk half the time - like my words are coming out slurred and stuff cos i dont even have the energy to talk properly, same sortof thing with moving! Would that be about right for having low sats or anyone have any other ideas?

And along with everything, last night after a day of feeling horrendous, I fell asleep at midnight-ish (early for me) only to wake up at 1am and not get back to sleep ALL NIGHT... I couldnt get comfortable at all, was freezing cold even with my jumper and socks on and heater on still, mind was running wild, body couldnt stay still, in particular because of the pain in my legs they wouldnt stay lying flat, at one point I was just kicking around for an hour in tears! Grrr.
Plus I was REALLY thirsty all night which is a worry on the diabetes side...

OK. rant over, i think. Sorry for another boring and depressing health post!
Im just worried and hoping that a) this will calm my mind a bit, and b) i might get a word of advice or reassurance that something isnt very wrong! haha

Loves xx


  1. Hey lovely! Sounds like you are having a really rough time at the moment! Confusion sounds like low sats although with flare ups I get confused, disorientated and weirdly (like you I get really really bad bone/joint pain) and I spend all night kicking and moving my legs even if I'm asleep, it's such a light sleep I can't keep still and groan constantly in pain! My sister has really vivid dreams. She doesn't have CF but she reads something really soothing or listens to relaxing music before bed and uses lavender to calm her down on her pillow (careful with this one it makes me wheeze!). Don't be scared of sleep- this could have an impact on the dreams. Try and turn it round and think positively about sleep. I get freaky, weird, vivid dreams when I have a temperature.. dunno whether this has anything to do with it? Hope you feel better soon. Nothing wrong with a good rant- makes you feel better!!! Drop me an e-mail if you need to. Xxx

  2. Hey Lauren, it sounds like you may be retaining CO2. My drs have told me that CO2 retention can feel like you're drunk. I'd definetly see your dr, as crappy as that sounds! When I have trouble sleeping (all the time) sometimes I read a bit to help.

  3. hey have you tried taking some kalms? i found they helped me with my sleep xx